i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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