I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
