bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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