jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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