I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
