don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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