upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
