shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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