Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
