singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
