I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
