He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
