Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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