Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
