$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
