don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
