Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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