i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
