there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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