PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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