Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
