is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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