the condom got lost in my hair
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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