Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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