i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
