just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
