I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
