Where are you?
In a non slutty way
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I intend to get homeless drunk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
