He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
