you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
