The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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