Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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