Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
