I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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