he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
