Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What drink are we having for lunch?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I did not marry a roomba.
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