she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
