u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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