Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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