I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
