I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
