Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
