he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize