I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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