So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
be right there i have to get my cape
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
