He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
