Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize