No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
