Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
