Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
