And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize