I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So many bounce houses so little time
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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