so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
