Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
A+ Viking dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
