I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
