i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
