I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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