You're completely useless in the revolution.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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