i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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