living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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