I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
