Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
