im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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