I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
