He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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