No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
