If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
