I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
love makes seman taste better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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