dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize